[IC] Inbox

[gewehrundblut]

::There is a brief moment of silence before the phone begins to ring.

Or, rather, sing.

~Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you're part of a team! Everything is awesome! When we're living our dream!~

We're sorry, but- the awesome Prussia! -is not available. Please leave your message at the tone.

BEEP.::





VOICE || TEXT || VIDEO || ACTION || GIFTS || CARRIER PIGEON || SMOKE SIGNALS || ETC

Comments

【 text 】

[gewehrundblut]

::He's ignoring this message. Ignoring it so hard.

Which is why he ends up replying an hour later. something something bored. something something attention seeking.::

ja. its 1 of the more pplr ammos

i probs dont wanna know, but again i ask

warum

【 text 】

[nyet]

[ he knew he could count on you(r ego), prussia! ]

As you would say, wunderbar.

I have recently acquired a Smith & Wesson Model 29, and I am in need of ammunition for it.

[ okay, he doesn't plan to use it—especially after last week—but it's the principle of the thing. how else is he going to make america stop ignoring him? ]

【 text 】

[gewehrundblut]

ill have u speaking a proper language yet

ur payin 4 the ammo this time tho

::He's steadfastly not asking where that Smith & Wesson came from. Mainly because he has his suspicions regarding a certain event from a few days prior.::

【 text 】

[gewehrundblut]

::A few seconds after the prior response...::

übrigens i do not do courier work so ur also gonna hafta meet me at the shop

::As much as he'd like to know where Russia lives so he can avoid the fuck out of that place, he's got no desire to go anywhere near Russia in a non-public area.::

【 text 】

[nyet]

[ MORE'S THE PITY, but russia expected as much...

he's not going to say a word about 'proper language' in case it ruins his chances of buying what he wants, but rest assured—in his ideal world, everyone would speak russian. ]

Of course!

I will be there during your next shift.

[ because of course he looked up your schedule, prussia! HE'S SO CONSIDERATE LIKE THAT. ]

【 text 】

[gewehrundblut]

::His ideal world is wrong and he should feel bad.::

c u 2morrow then

::Doesn't even occur to him that Russia somehow looked up his schedule. Maybe because he didn't phrase that creepily enough. Either way? Not looking forward to this.::

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ TRUE TO HIS WORD, here russia is, one day later, just outside of your fine establishment.

—which he soon rectifies by opening the door and slipping inside. ]

Prussia, I'm here!

[ which he says in exactly the same tone as HONEY, I'M HOME, so enjoy that... ]

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::He's restocking the ammo when he hears that voice. The tone is enough to make him gag. Which he does. Loudly.

He pushes himself up from behind the counter with a glare.::

Never speak to me in that tone again. Gottverdammt!

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ russia's answering smile is, for all intents and purposes, completely innocent.

by this point, he's well-aware that neither himself nor prussia were operating on their... usual levels, last they met—but he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss prussia's sunnier, more accepting attitude, even though he wasn't in the correct frame of mind himself to truly appreciate it at the time.

punks these days. ]

What tone is that? [ he arranges his face into a look of concern as he steps up to the counter, resting an idle palm on the polished surface. ] There is no need to be so angry, Prussia. I was only saying hello.

Have you got something stuck in your throat?

[ because that must be the origin of your gagging, clearly! ]

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::Except for the part where there is nothing innocent about Russia, yeah.

Needless to say, he's not missing his more cheerful demeanour one bit.::

The tone where you sound all sickeningly sweet like I should be happy you're here.

In case it ain't obvious, I'm not.

::He leans against the counter in return, hands pressed flat to the surface, stance more aggressive than casual.::

.44 magnum cartridges, right?

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ russia's expression takes on a slightly hurt cast, but the amusement shines through, as though prussia's anger is entertaining to him. which it is. ]

Why shouldn't you be happy? I am a paying customer, after all.

[ then he nods once, still smiling in his benign, agreeable way; contrary to prussia's aggressive stance, russia isn't trying to intimidate, not like last time. ]

Да, those are the ones.

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::There is not enough "Fuck you" in the world to describe the impotent rage he feels at Russia's amusement. His anger is not funny, Gottverdammt!::

Да, but you're also... you. And anyone who's happy about your presence needs their head examined.

::Case in point: Belarus. And yes, that Да was deliberate and mocking.

Which may go right over Russia's head.

Gottverdammt.::

D'you need anything else while you're here?

::Because he'd rather deal with him slightly longer today than get contacted again in a week for something else...::

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ BELARUS... IS A SPECIAL CASE, OKAY.

but it's probably not a good idea to voice that opinion out loud, prussia. as much as belarus terrifies him, she's still his sister, and he's not gonna tolerate you insulting her to his face. ]

Very good, Prussia! I am me. [ yakety yak, don't mock back. ] And what is so wrong with being happy to see me? I think it's nice.

[ oh, russia. of course you would.

and it sort of does go over his head, but... say that да as sarcastically as you like, prussia—you're still using his language, and it just makes him smile that much more. ]

No, that is it. Just the ammunition.

[ he already has more than enough on the gun front... ]

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::He's not an idiot, especially not after being a Soviet satellite state for half a century. He knows better than to voice that thought aloud.

Besides, if Belarus ever shows up here and hears that he thinks she's mental... God help him.::

Don't be condescending, jackass. ::He pinches the bridge of his nose.:: Right, analogy time, since you're too simple to understand me. Are you happy when you see Amerika?

::He'll ring Russia out once he gets it through to him why he will never be happy to see him.::

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ the condescension is so strong in this moment.

at that, russia's eyebrows go up slightly in vague, amused surprise. his fingers begin to drum on the counter. what a question! prussia's probably expecting him to say no; russia toys with the idea of playing along, but that wouldn't be very fun, would it? ]

Америка? Yes. I am happy when I see everyone I know. I am even happy to see you!

[ that's actually more or less true—it's when you both open your mouths that ruins it for him. ]

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::That just earns him the flattest stare. You have got to be shitting him.::

Even Belorußland?? You're even happy to see her?

::If Russia answers in the affirmative, Prussia will know he's trolling him. He has seen him hide from her!

And if him opening his mouth ruins Russia's joy, then he will talk. all. day. Of course, he does that regardless.::

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ ah, that's a curveball. russia hesitates for a second before answering; it's probably the hesitation that gives him away, because otherwise, he sounds as innocuous as ever. ]

She is my sister! What kind of brother would I be if I was not happy to see her?

[ OH, THE INTERNAL CONFLICT... well, she isn't here to hear him say it, so it's fine. right? right. ]

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::He laughs under his breath. Gotcha! And don't think if Belarus shows up he won't tell her about this conversation, because he will. Just because it's the only way he knows to make Russia truly suffer.::

Ja, ja genau. How silly of me, you're a good brother!

That'll be ::insert credit amount here::.

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ PRUSSIA DON'T YOU DARE. (can people even get married in cerealia? there must be laws against that sort of thing...)

russia blinks at the easy agreement—he was expecting some kind of rebuttal... but he'll take it, even if it's entirely sarcastic.

he removes his credit card from his wallet and hands it over for the second time in a week. ]

Do you think so? I try, but it is difficult sometimes. [ he smiles, choosing, for the sake of annoyance, to react to prussia's words at face value. ] You understand, yes?

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::OH HE WOULD DARE. (why ever would there be laws against that?)

He takes the card and runs it through the card reader.::

Yeah, well, Belorußland is difficult sometimes. ::His jaw twitches in annoyance at the question.:: Otherwise, I wouldn't know. West was always a joy to have around!

::Well. There was that whole Preußenschlag business. But he doesn't really blame Germany for that one.

Which might be silly of him, but he's a sentimental idiot.::

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ (BECAUSE... IT'S... черт побери, he's not thinking about this.) ]

She can be. Not so much when she was younger. [ what he'd give to be ignorant again. actually, no; what he'd give for her to be ignorant again... maybe it was his conversion to orthodoxy that put those ideas into her head? whatever it was, it's not something that bears further introspection at all ever.

he holds his hand out to reclaim his card, nodding as if in agreement. ]

Ah, of course! I cannot imagine you would think poorly of Germany, even after all these years. He was the one taking care of you, after all—before this. You must be very used to all of his yelling!

[ now that's sarcastic, and shady, for obvious reasons. even despite their current strategic partnership, russia wouldn't say germany is—was—a joy to be around. ]

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::He hands the card back, but doesn't release it just yet.

Because he caught that tone, and don't you dare be sarcastic about his little brother, you Schwein.::

Who d'you think taught him how to yell, Rußland? I don't think poorly of him because he's my little brother, not because he's the one who pays the bills. If all it took was that, I'd've loved you back in my red days.

::And then he releases the card.::

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ russia laughs softly at that, though again, it falls flat on the air. so thankless... even now, more than twenty years later, it's still a sore spot. he did so much for his union, tried so hard to foster friendship and unity, and for what? nothing.

well, you can't change the past. forgive and forget! there's always time for new growth and community, after all; one day, everyone will see how much better off they are with russia. how much happier.

but in the meantime... ]

That is true. You have always been much louder, and much more obnoxious.

[ his card goes back into his wallet, which goes back into his coat, but his hands return to the counter. he smiles graciously, with no trace of derision. ]

I think we can both agree that family is important, yes? And since ours are missing, it is even more important that we treat each other as brothers and sisters in arms. Don't you agree, Пруссия?

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::He will never be thankful, even if being East Germany bought him another century on this earth.::

Damn straight.

::Yes, he's proud to be the more annoying German.::

I think that's the only thing we agree on. But, tell me, why should I ally myself with any of you? Amerika calls me dead, England is a jackass, and you... I don't think I need to talk about our history.

::The only nation here he has nothing against is Viet-Nam! Though he actually likes England some years.::

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ russia pauses, regarding prussia with an unreadable look. now he does lean forward, putting weight on his hands. his expression goes earnest, even hopeful—but despite his smiling tone, he does seem a little more serious now than he was before. ]

Our home is gone. Unless we eradicate our enemies, we will never see it restored. This is a war, Prussia. One that we must win if you ever want to be with your dear брат again. And me... my sisters. Of course we must work together!

[ strategically, what he's proposing is more of a military alliance. you scratch his back, and he'll refrain from whipping yours. with a common enemy, it seems like the best course of action—to russia, at least, but russia likes every course of action that allows him (at least in part) to reclaim lost property friends. this is not an entirely honorable proposal.

america will have to be handled separately, of course, and england... he would rather punch england in the face, but if it comes to it, he'll fight alongside england as well, just like old times. vietnam has never been a problem. she's already done so much for him here. so much...

he leans back with a sigh. ]

But you do not have to give me an answer now. Think about it, yes? And think about what this place has done to you.

[ oh, russia. you're talking like prussia has a choice in the matter. ]

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::He is fairly certain he does have some say in the matter.

Regardless, he also already knows what his answer will be. An alliance of any sort with Russia? He'd have to be either drunk out of his mind or absolutely insane to agree to such a thing on Russia's terms. Maybe if someone else were heading up the alliance... but, no.

He is no one's property, nor is he Russia's friend.::

Y'always did know the way to a man's heart. ::He's being mildly sarcastic, of course. Even if he can't deny the appeal of a war.::

But giving me time to think isn't gonna change my answer. It'll be a cold day in Hell before I ally myself with you.

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART IS THROUGH HIS CHEST—and russia would know, his falls out all the time.

but all prussia gets is just another gracious smile, and a little laugh, like a giggle. ]

Then it must have been a very cold day in 1764.

Like I said, think about it.

[ because russia doesn't like taking no for an answer, and after all, hell is always frozen over when russia's around. ]

【 action 】

[gewehrundblut]

::Right between the third and fourth rib, to be precise.

And, Goddamnit, that makes him laugh, though his is more a short bark of a sound.::

Fucking freezing, Arschloch.

Now take your ammo and piss off.

::But Prussia loves giving no for an answer!::

【 action 】

[nyet]

[ and therein lies russia's main problem with exactly all of the people who irritate him the most! ah, if only everyone was as agreeable as the baltics... ]

Увидимся позже, Пруссия.

[ AND OFF HE GOES with his shiny new ammo! with any luck, you won't see him in here again for at least another month, tops. other places... well, don't get your hopes up. ]